Parents Guide to Relationships, Sex & Health Education in Secondary School

Dear Parents/Carers/Guardians,

The Family Planning Association (FPA) has been teaching health and sex education since the 1930s – you may have seen our patient leaflets while waiting in doctors’ surgeries.

The good news is that high-quality sex education is like any other education. It helps young people navigate the world, make informed choices, and develop critical thinking skills.

Sex education does not encourage young people to have sex 

In fact, it can have the opposite effect and delay the age that young people first have sex – see sex education benefits and statistics.

The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) has reviewed 87 separate studies on the pros and cons of sex education. Their report is 137 pages long but here are a few highlights.

The benefits of sex education (based on 87 studies)

Most parents would celebrate the benefits of sex education, including:

• Waiting longer before having sex for the first time. There is absolutely no evidence that sex education encourages young people to have sex earlier. In fact, sex education makes it more likely that first sex will happen later, when a young person feels ready. And – most importantly – first sex is more likely to be consensual, meaning it’s wanted and agreed to.

And where young people are engaging in sexual activity then:

• Sex is less frequent
• They have fewer partners
• Safer sex with condoms is more likely
• There are fewer pregnancies
• There are fewer sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• Young people are less likely to engage in risky behaviour, such as sex when using alcohol or drugs
• There is less “non-volitional” sex, meaning that sexual activity is less likely to be unwanted and non-consensual

Protecting young people – this is a core part of Relationships, Sex and Health education

Young people in the modern world face many dangers. Recent child sex abuse and child sexual harassment statistics make for harrowing reading.

The evidence shows that sex education helps to reduce unwanted, non-consensual sex.

A central part of relationships, sex and health education (RSHE) is helping children develop skills to stay safe, online and offline.

“Sexual Health Essentials” secondary schools teaching resource

We’ve teamed up with You Before Two to provide the “Sexual Health Essentials” to secondary schools. This is an online teaching resource (like an online textbook) that:

• Helps teachers cover difficult topics such as penile and vulval health, STIs, menstrual health, sexual consent and contraception
• Covers the difficult topics such as penile and vulval health, STIs, menstrual health, sexual consent and contraception

The creators of “Sexual Health Essentials”, Dr Bekki Foljambe and Dr Naomi Sutton, provide young people with the information that lets them make positive healthy decisions and have healthy relationships for the rest of their lives.

You can check out their frank and fun tone in the clips below:

Core Sexual Health Facts

5 lessons designed for Year 9 upwards (age +13)

Contraception Choices

2 lessons designed for Year 11 upwards (age +15)

Responsible Relationships, Sex & Health Education in Secondary Schools – RSHE FAQs:

Q) Are children shown pornographic material?
A) No, never, they are children. The Family Planning Association takes a responsible approach. Children should be helped, protected and only taught age appropriate lessons.

Q) Is Relationships, Sex and Health Education really that important – shouldn’t children just concentrate on English and maths?
A) There’s no question that English and maths are critical building blocks.
Likewise, the clear evidence is that High Quality RSHE is like other education. It helps children and young people navigate the world, make informed choices, and develop critical thinking skills.
For details – see our Sex Education Benefits and Statistics page.

Q) Can I take a closer look at the Sexual Health Essentials lessons?
A) Yes. You can see the 7 lesson plans here and you can also get a taste of the frank, fun tone of the lessons in the films above.

Q) Can I opt my child out of sex education?

A) The NHS states “it’s perfectly normal for puberty to begin at any point between the ages of 8 and 13 in girls and 9 and 14 in boys.“

Parents:

• cannot withdraw their child from ‘relationships’ education as this is a legal requirement.
• cannot withdraw their child from sex education that is part of the science curriculum e.g. ‘external body parts’ and ‘the human body as it grows from birth to old age (including puberty)’.

According to government guidance:

“There is no right to withdraw from Relationships Education or Health Education. Parents have a right to request to withdraw their child from sex education delivered as part of RSHE in secondary schools which, unless there are exceptional circumstances, should be granted up to three terms before their child turns 16. At this point, if the child themselves wishes to receive sex education rather than be withdrawn, the school should make arrangements for this to happen in one of the three terms before the child turns 16 – the legal age of sexual consent.”

The Sexual Health Essentials lessons include aspects of Relationships, Sex and Health Education and are not differentiated between ‘Relationships’ or ‘Sex’. We believe the topics are meaningfully approached with the topics integrated.

You should consult your child’s school RSHE policy and follow the internal process accordingly.

Be aware that the process is likely to include the headteacher discussing:

• The benefits of RSHE with you and why your child should get this important education
• Detrimental effects that withdrawal might have on your child. This could include any social and emotional effects of being excluded, as well as the likelihood of the child hearing their peers’ version of what was said in the classes, rather than what was directly said by the teacher.
• How the negative effects of withdrawal can be mitigated if you give your child sex education at home instead.

For more information on government guidance, please see here.

Q) Does sex education encourage children to have sex?

A) No. Studies show it’s more likely to have the opposite effect and delay the age that young people first have sex.
You don’t have to take our word for it, the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) examined 87 separate studies on the pros and cons of sex education.
Their report is 137 pages long – we’ve added a few highlights here.