Parents Guide to Relationships, Sex & Health Education in Secondary School
Parents Guide to Relationships, Sex & Health Education in Secondary School
Dear Parents/Carers/Guardians,
The Family Planning Association (FPA) has been teaching health and sex education since the 1930s – you may have seen our patient leaflets while waiting in doctors’ surgeries.
The good news is that high-quality sex education is like any other education. It helps young people navigate the world, make informed choices, and develop critical thinking skills.
Sex education does not encourage young people to have sex
In fact, it can have the opposite effect and delay the age that young people first have sex – see sex education benefits and statistics.
The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) has reviewed 87 separate studies on the pros and cons of sex education. Their report is 137 pages long but here are a few highlights.
The benefits of sex education (based on 87 studies)
Most parents would celebrate the benefits of sex education, including:
- Waiting longer before having sex for the first time. There is absolutely no evidence that sex education encourages young people to have sex earlier. In fact, sex education makes it more likely that first sex will happen later, when a young person feels ready. And – most importantly – first sex is more likely to be consensual, meaning it’s wanted and agreed to.
And where young people are engaging in sexual activity then:
- Sex is less frequent
- They have fewer partners
- Safer sex with condoms is more likely
- There are fewer pregnancies
- There are fewer sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
- Young people are less likely to engage in risky behaviour, such as sex when using alcohol or drugs
- There is less “non-volitional” sex, meaning that sexual activity is less likely to be unwanted and non-consensual
Protecting young people – this is a core part of Relationships, Sex and Health education
Young people in the modern world face many dangers. Recent child sex abuse and child sexual harassment statistics make for harrowing reading.
The evidence shows that sex education helps to reduce unwanted, non-consensual sex.
A central part of relationships, sex and health education (RSHE) is helping children develop skills to stay safe, online and offline.
“Sexual Health Essentials” secondary schools teaching resource
We’ve teamed up with You Before Two to provide the “Sexual Health Essentials” to secondary schools. This is an online teaching resource (like an online textbook) that:
- Helps teachers cover difficult topics such as penile and vulval health, STIs, menstrual health, sexual consent and contraception
- Covers the difficult topics such as penile and vulval health, STIs, menstrual health, sexual consent and contraception
The creators of “Sexual Health Essentials”, Dr Bekki Foljambe and Dr Naomi Sutton, provide young people with the information that lets them make positive healthy decisions and have healthy relationships for the rest of their lives.
You can check out their frank and fun tone in the clips below:
Core Sexual Health Facts
5 lessons designed for Year 9 upwards (age +13)
Contraception Choices
3 lessons designed for Year 11 upwards (age +15)
Responsible Relationships, Sex & Health Education in Secondary Schools – RSHE FAQs:
Q) Are children shown pornographic material?
A) No, never, they are children. The Family Planning Association takes a responsible approach. Children should be helped, protected and only taught age appropriate lessons.
Q) Is Relationships, Sex and Health Education really that important – shouldn’t children just concentrate on English and maths?
A) There’s no question that English and maths are critical building blocks.
Likewise, the clear evidence is that High Quality RSHE is like other education. It helps children and young people navigate the world, make informed choices, and develop critical thinking skills.
For details – see our Sex Education Benefits and Statistics page.
Q) Can I take a closer look at the Sexual Health Essentials lessons?
A) Yes. You can see the objectives and outcomes for each of the 8 lessons here and you can also get a taste of the frank, fun tone of the lessons in the films above.
Q) Can I opt my child out of sex education?
A) The NHS states “it’s perfectly normal for puberty to begin at any point between the ages of 8 and 13 in girls and 9 and 14 in boys.“
Parents:
- cannot withdraw their child from ‘relationships’ education as this is a legal requirement.
- cannot withdraw their child from sex education that is part of the science curriculum e.g. ‘external body parts’ and ‘the human body as it grows from birth to old age (including puberty)’.
According to government guidance:
“There is no right to withdraw from Relationships Education or Health Education. Parents have a right to request to withdraw their child from sex education delivered as part of RSHE in secondary schools which, unless there are exceptional circumstances, should be granted up to three terms before their child turns 16. At this point, if the child themselves wishes to receive sex education rather than be withdrawn, the school should make arrangements for this to happen in one of the three terms before the child turns 16 – the legal age of sexual consent.”
The Sexual Health Essentials lessons include aspects of Relationships, Sex and Health Education and are not differentiated between ‘Relationships’ or ‘Sex’. We believe the topics are meaningfully approached with the topics integrated.
You should consult your child’s school RSHE policy and follow the internal process accordingly.
Be aware that the process is likely to include the headteacher discussing:
- The benefits of RSHE with you and why your child should get this important education
- Detrimental effects that withdrawal might have on your child. This could include any social and emotional effects of being excluded, as well as the likelihood of the child hearing their peers’ version of what was said in the classes, rather than what was directly said by the teacher.
- How the negative effects of withdrawal can be mitigated if you give your child sex education at home instead.
For more information on government guidance, please see here.
Q) Does sex education encourage children to have sex?
A) No. Studies show it’s more likely to have the opposite effect and delay the age that young people first have sex.
You don’t have to take our word for it, the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) examined 87 separate studies on the pros and cons of sex education.
Their report is 137 pages long – we’ve added a few highlights here.
Parents Feedback
Sexual Health Essentials: Lessons, objectives and outcomes
Below – the title of each lesson, along with the outline content of that lesson and the learning outcomes for students.
Core Sexual Health Facts
5 lessons designed for Year 9 upwards (age +13)
- Lesson 1: Penis pressure
- Lesson Objectives:
- How to maintain penile health and hygiene
- How condoms are used
- How pressures and myths can affect a person’s feelings and expectations around sex
- Students will be able to:
- Describe features of penile health and the hygiene practices that support this
- Describe or demonstrate safe use of a condom
- Analyse why someone may experience ‘performance pressure’ and explain how this may affect them
- Lesson Objectives:
- Lesson 2: Vulval vexations
- Lesson Objectives:
- The anatomy of the vulva and vagina
- How a person can maintain vulval hygiene
- How to notice when someone may need to seek medical advice about vulval health
- Students will be able to:
- Explain the difference between the vulva and vagina
- Describe the normal variations of vulvas
- Describe vaginal discharge
- Describe the pressures that a person might experience to alter the appearance of the vulva through hair removal
- Explain when a person may need to seek support about vulval health
- Lesson Objectives:
- Lesson 3: Period dramas
- Lesson Objectives:
- What periods are
- Factors that affect menstrual product choices
- Students will be able to:
- Explain what a period is
- Evaluate a range of factors that affect choices about which menstrual products to use
- Lesson Objectives:
- Lesson 4: Sexual health check
- Lesson Objectives:
- The importance of a sexual health check
- How people can seek help to access testing and treatment
- Students will be able to:
- Describe what happens during a check-up at a sexual health clinic
- Know when it is advisable to get a check
- Name some common STIs that are tested for in a sexual health check and describe how these STIs are checked for
- Describe how some STIs are treated, including HIV
- Lesson Objectives:
- Lesson 5: Consent
- Lesson Objectives:
- How consent can be communicated
- The law in relation to consent
- Students will be able to:
- Explain what sexual consent is
- Identify when consent has been given, not given or withdrawn
- Lesson Objectives:
Contraception Choices
3 lessons designed for year 11 upwards (age +15)
- Lesson 1: Introduction to contraception
- Lesson Objectives:
- The types of contraception available, including emergency contraception
- How to use contraception effectively
- Students will be able to:
- Explain why contraception is used
- Describe different types of contraception
- Identify strategies to help someone use contraceptives effectively
- Lesson Objectives:
- Lesson 2: Exploring the options
- Lesson Objectives:
- The types of contraception available, including contraceptive pills and LARCs
- Advantages and disadvantages of different types of contraception
- How to use contraception effectively
- Students will be able to:
- Describe different types of contraception, including contraceptive pills and LARCs
- Compare different types of contraception
- Identify strategies to help someone use contraceptives effectively
- Lesson Objectives:
- Lesson 3: Making the choice
- Lesson Objectives:
- The factors that can influence choices about contraception
- Emergency contraception options
- How to overcome concerns about accessing sexual health services
- Students will be able to:
- Describe some of the factors that may affect the type of contraception that is most suitable for someone
- Describe types of emergency contraception and why someone may need to use these
- Identify some concerns about accessing sexual health services and strategies for overcoming these
- Lesson Objectives:
All of these PSHE accredited lessons support mandatory topics in the National Curriculum – see below.
How Sexual Health Essentials follows the National Curriculum for secondary schools
All of the Sexual Health Essentials lessons support mandatory topics for RSHE in the National Curriculum.
Below, we highlight the relevant Department for Education guidance for “Relationships Education, Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) and Health Education (for introduction 1 September 2026)”:
Secondary relationships and sex education curriculum content
Intimate and sexual relationships, including sexual health (page 19)
“1.That sex, for people who feel ready and are over the age of consent, can and should be enjoyable and positive.”
“2. The law about the age of consent, that they have a choice about whether to have sex, that many young people wait until they are older, and that people of all ages can enjoy intimate and romantic relationships without sex.”
“3. Sexual consent and their capacity to give, withhold or remove consent at any time, even if initially given, as well as the considerations that people might take into account prior to sexual activity, e.g. the law, faith and family values. That kindness and care for others require more than just consent.”
“5. That some sexual behaviours can be harmful.”
“6. The facts about the full range of contraceptive choices, efficacy and options available, including male and female condoms, and signposting towards medically accurate online information about sexual and reproductive health to support contraceptive decision-making.”
“7. That there are choices in relation to pregnancy. Pupils should be given medically and legally accurate and impartial information on all options, including keeping the baby, adoption, abortion and where to get further help.”
“8. How the different sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV, are transmitted. How risk can be reduced through safer sex (including through condom use). The use and availability of the HIV prevention drugs Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) and Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP) and how and where to access them. The importance of, and facts about, regular testing and the role of stigma”
“9. The prevalence of STIs, the short and long term impact they can have on those who contract them and key facts about treatment.”
“10. How the use of alcohol and drugs can lead people to take risks in their sexual behaviour.”
Respectful relationships (page 14)
“8. The role of consent, including in romantic and sexual relationships. Pupils should understand that ethical behaviour goes beyond consent and involves kindness, care, attention to the needs and vulnerabilities of the other person, as well as an awareness of power dynamics. Pupils should understand that just because someone says yes to doing something, that doesn’t automatically make it ethically ok.”
Online safety and awareness (page 16)
“11. That pornography, and other online content, often presents a distorted picture of people and their sexual behaviours and can negatively affect how people behave towards sexual partners.”
Being Safe (page 17)
“1. How to recognise, respect and communicate consent and boundaries in relationships, including in early romantic relationships (in all contexts, including online) and early sexual relationships that might involve kissing or touching. That kindness and care for others requires more than just consent.”
“2. That there are a range of strategies for identifying, resisting and understanding pressure in relationships from peers or others, including sexual pressure, and how to avoid putting pressure on others.”
Secondary health and wellbeing curriculum content
Developing bodies (page 31)
“3. About menstrual and gynaecological health”
Primary School: Parents Guide to RSHE
Also see our “Parents Guide to Relationships, Sex & Health Education in Primary School“.
