Brits blush talking about using condoms with their partner says FPA

6 August 2007

Despite living in a highly sexualised society, talking about using condoms with a new sexual partner is something people, regardless of age, struggle with. New research [i] from fpa for Sexual Health Week (6–12 August) shows that just over a third (39%) of people said talking about condoms with a new sexual partner is an easy conversation to have.

Of those who said they did not find it easy, 70% of people said they found the conversation embarrassing and 42% said it’s a turn off. 36% said it is such a tough conversation it makes them less likely to use a condom. Surprisingly, people over thirty don’t find talking about condoms easier than young people. Embarrassment is putting people at risk of sexually transmitted infections and jeopardising the nation’s sexual health.

Commenting on the research Anne Weyman, Chief Executive, fpa said: “We have to ask why in the 21st Century when sex is so widely portrayed in British culture, talking about using condoms is still embarrassing. People in their thirties, forties and fifties, who may be supremely confident talking about everything else in their lives, struggle at the thought of talking about condoms.”

Those who said they found talking about condoms easy, were asked how they had learnt to do this. Overwhelmingly 67% replied that they taught themselves through personal experience.

People seem to be aware that they are not looking after their sexual health properly. 30% of all those questioned said they had regretted not using a condom with a new partner in the past. This number went up to 36% in the 35-44 year old age group. 15% of over 55 year olds also expressed regret over not using a condom with a new sexual partner in the past.

Interestingly, difficulties talking about using condoms don’t appear to stem from conservative attitudes around safer sex. 51% of all those questioned said they would like to see television soaps and dramas have more characters talking about and using condoms.

“The problem,” Anne continued, “is our preoccupation with the sexual behaviour of the young. ‘Thirtysomethings’ are a forgotten generation. They received little sex and relationships education at school but grew up in an increasingly sexualised society. They’ve had to find the confidence themselves to talk about condoms and learn the hard way. It’s not surprising that people can feel it’s easier not to use a condom, than put themselves through the torture of talking about a subject they feel deeply uncomfortable about.

“Safer sex campaigns are often targeted at the young. But thirtysomethings are also entering into new sexual relationships. It’s not acceptable that they risk their sexual health because they feel embarrassed and view condoms as a turn off. They need as much support with their sexual health as young people do. That’s why we’ve produced a tips leaflet [ii] this year to give people some ideas to help them talk about using condoms with a new sexual partner.”

Commenting on the fact that over half the respondents agreed that the subject of condoms should feature more in soap and television drama storylines, Anne said:

“Wouldn’t it be fantastic if conversations about using condoms featured in as many storylines as sex does? Audiences want to see the realities of sex with characters dealing with the same issues and feelings as they do. Writers have missed an opportunity to weave the full spectrum of what happens in sexual relationships into the script,” she concluded.

fpa’s Pillow Talk Tips are below. For more information or to view the posters for the week go to the Pillow Talk campaign page.

Jpegs of all posters are available from fpa’s Press Office.

The research was conducted online by You Gov on behalf of fpa and questioned 2,169 adults aged 18+.

-ENDS-

For further information please contact fpa’s press office on 020 7608 5265/5264. Mobile 07958 921060.

fpa (Family Planning Association) is the only registered charity working to improve the sexual health and reproductive rights of all people throughout the UK.

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Notes to editors

You Gov questioned 2,169 adults online between the 6 and 9 July 2007 across Great Britain. Weighting was applied to the data to bring it into line with national profiles.

fpa’s Pillow Talk Tips:

1. It doesn’t matter how old, young, educated, sexually experienced or what sex you are, talking about (and using) condoms can be a challenge.
2. It’s about YOU: using condoms means you’re looking after your own sexual health, not making judgements about anyone’s past sexual history.
3. Don’t be shy. Your partner probably feels as embarrassed as you do.
4. Be a confident user. Practice (women too) putting them on, taking them off, unwrapping and touching them.
5. If it helps, rehearse what to say before you say it.
6. Good timing: Don’t talk naked! Talk to your partner away from the bedroom, without all the pressure and before you have sex.
7. Is sex on the cards? If talking about condoms makes it seem you’re expecting sex, discuss it as something you’ve seen on television, film, book, magazine etc.
8. Drop it in the conversation at the ‘getting to know you stage’ e.g. ”My favourite actor, singer, drink, internet site, condom is……….”
9. Know the excuses for not using condoms: too big, too small (try different sizes), allergic (try non-latex), too unsensitive, or unsexy (try performance enhancers and lubricant).
10. Drugs, sex and alcohol. The more you have the less likely it is you’ll use condoms.