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Pillow Talk – Sexual Health Week 2007

Talking about condoms should be a conversation that is straightforward, reassuring and normal. Our Pillow Talk campaign aimed to help conversation flow a little more smoothly.

Many people probably already know that condoms help protect against pregnancy and most sexually transmitted infections. But despite people’s best intentions about using them, condoms may be thought about and carried about – but never got out and used.

Why? Well there may be many reasons, but one is that people can find talking about using condoms with their partner a difficult experience, embarrassing or uncomfortable.

So they don’t talk.

If couples don’t talk about and agree to use condoms before they have sex, and what they’ll do if something goes wrong using the condom (probably right in the middle of sex), the chances are the condom will never make it out of the wrapper.

If people are confident talking about condoms they’re more likely to use them.

Pillow Talk: ten top tips to beat bedroom embarrassment

Feel embarrassed talking about using condoms with your partner? Follow these tips from the FPA helpline team.

1 It doesn't matter how old, young, educated, sexually experienced or what sex you are, talking about (and using) condoms can be a challenge.

2 It's about you: using condoms means you're looking after your own sexual health, not making judgements about anyone's past sexual history.

3 Don't be shy. Your partner probably feels as embarrassed as you do.

4 Be a confident user. Practise (women too) putting them on, taking them off, unwrapping and touching them.

5 If it helps, rehearse what to say before you say it.

6 Good timing: don't talk naked! Talk to your partner away from the bedroom, without all the pressure and before you have sex.

7 Is sex on the cards? If talking about condoms makes it seem you're expecting sex, discuss it as something you've seen on television, or in a film, book, magazine etc.

8 Drop it in the conversation at the 'getting to know you' stage, e.g. “my favourite actor, singer, drink, internet site, condom is...”.

9 Know the excuses for not using condoms: too big, too small (try different sizes), allergic (try non-latex), too unsensitive, or unsexy (try performance enhancers and lubricant).

10 Drugs, sex and alcohol. The more you have the less likely it is you'll use condoms.

Free condoms are available from contraception clinics, sexual health clinics and some general practices.

To talk in confidence about anything to do with sexual health, contact the FPA helpline on 0845 122 8690, Monday–Friday 9am–6pm.